THE EXPEDITION OF HUMPHRY CLINKER
by Tobias Smollett
To Mr HENRY DAVIS,
Bookseller, in London.
ABERGAVENNY, Aug. 4.
RESPECTED SIR,
I have received your esteemed favour of
the 13th ultimo, whereby it appeareth,
that you have perused those same
Letters, the which were delivered unto
you by my friend, the reverend Mr Hugo
Behn; and I am pleased to find you think
they may be printed with a good prospect
of success; in as much as the objections
you mention, I humbly conceive, are
such as may be redargued, if not entirely
removed—And, first, in the first place, as
touching what prosecutions may arise
from printing the private correspondence
of persons still living, give me leave, with
all due submission, to observe, that the
Letters in question were not written and
sent under the seal of secrecy; that they
have no tendency to the mala fama, or
prejudice of any person whatsoever; but
rather to the information and edification
of mankind: so that it becometh a sort of
duty to promulgate them in usum
publicum.
Besides, I have consulted Mr Davy
Higgins, an eminent attorney of this
place, who, after due inspection and
consideration, declareth, That he
doth not think the said Letters
contain any matter which will be held
actionable in the eye of the law.
Finally, if you and I should come to a right
understanding, I do declare in verbo
sacerdotis, that, in case of any such
prosecution, I will take the whole upon my
own shoulders, even quoad fine and
imprisonment, though, I must confess, I
should not care to undergo flagellation:
Tam ad turpitudinem, quam ad
amaritudinem poenoe spectans—Secondly,
concerning the personal resentment of Mr
Justice Lismahago, I may say, non flocci
facio—I would not willingly vilipend any
Christian, if, peradventure, he deserveth
that epithet: albeit, I am much surprised that
more care is not taken to exclude from the
commission all such vagrant foreigners as
may be justly suspected of disaffection to
our happy constitution, in church and
state—God forbid that I should be so
uncharitable, as to affirm, positively, that
the said Lismahago is no better than a
Jesuit in disguise; but this I will assert and
maintain, totis viribus, that, from the day he
qualified, he has never been once seen
intra templi parietes, that is to say, within
the parish church.
Thirdly, with respect to what passed at
Mr Kendal's table, when the said
Lismahago was so brutal in his
reprehensions, I must inform you, my
good Sir, that I was obliged to retire, not
by fear arising from his minatory
reproaches, which, as I said above, I
value not of a rush; but from the sudden
effect produced, by a barbel's row,
which I had eaten at dinner, not
knowing, that the said row is at certain
seasons violently cathartic, as Galen
observeth in his chapter Peri ichtos.
Fourthly, and lastly, with reference to the
manner in which I got possession of these
Letters, it is a circumstance that concerns
my own conscience only; sufficeth it to
say, I have fully satisfied the parties in
whose custody they were; and, by this
time, I hope I have also satisfied you in
such ways, that the last hand may be put
to our agreement, and the work proceed
with all convenient expedition; in which I
hope I rest,
Respected Sir, Your very humble servant,
JONATHAN DUSTWICH.
P.S. I propose, Deo volente, to have the
pleasure of seeing you in the great city,
towards All-hallowtide, when I shall be
glad to treat with you concerning a parcel
of MISS sermons, of a certain clergyman
deceased; a cake of the right leaven, for
the present taste of the public. Verbum
sapienti, &c.
J.D.
To the Revd. Mr JONATHAN
DUSTWICH, at—
SIR,
I received yours in course of post, and
shall be glad to treat with you for the M.S.
which I have delivered to your friend Mr
Behn; but can by no means comply with
the terms proposed. Those things are so
uncertain—Writing is all a lottery—I have
been a loser by the works of the greatest
men of the age—I could mention
particulars, and name names; but don't
choose it—The taste of the town is so
changeable.
Then there have been so many letters upon
travels lately published—What between
Smollett's, Sharp's, Derrick's, Thicknesse's,
Baltimore's, and Baretti's, together with
Shandy's Sentimental Travels, the public
seems to be cloyed with that kind of
entertainment—Nevertheless, I will, if you
please, run the risque of printing and
publishing, and you shall have half the profits
of the impression—You need not take the
trouble to bring up your sermons on my
account—No body reads sermons but
Methodists and Dissenters—Besides, for my
own part, I am quite a stranger to that sort of
reading; and the two persons, whose judgment
I depended upon in those matters, are out of
the way; one is gone abroad, carpenter of a
man of war; and the other, has been silly
enough to abscond, in order to avoid a
prosecution for blasphemy—I'm a great loser
by his going off—He has left a manual of
devotion half finished on my hands, after
having received money for the whole
copy—He was the soundest divine, and had
the most orthodox pen of all my people; and I
never knew his judgment fail, but in flying from
his bread and butter on this occasion.
By owning you was not put in bodily fear by
Lismahago, you preclude yourself from the
benefit of a good plea, over and above the
advantage of binding him over. In the late
war, I inserted in my evening paper, a
paragraph that came by the post, reflecting
upon the behaviour of a certain regiment in
battle. An officer of said regiment came to my
shop, and, in the presence of my wife and
journeyman, threatened to cut off my
ears—As I exhibited marks of bodily fear
more ways than one, to the conviction of the
byestanders, I bound him over; my action lay,
and I recovered.
As for flagellation, you have nothing to
fear, and nothing to hope, on that
head—There has been but one printer
flogged at the cart's tail these thirty years;
that was Charles Watson; and he assured
me it was no more than a flea-bite. C—
S— has been threatened several times by
the House of L—; but it came to nothing.
If an information should be moved
for, and granted against you, as the
editor of those Letters, I hope you
will have honesty and wit enough to
appear and take your trial—If you
should be sentenced to the pillory,
your fortune is made—As times go,
that's a sure step to honour and
preferment. I shall think myself
happy if I can lend you a lift; and am,
very sincerely,
Yours,
HENRY DAVIS. LONDON, Aug. 10th.
Please my kind service to your neighbour,
my cousin Madoc—I have sent an
Almanack and Court-kalendar, directed for
him at Mr Sutton's, bookseller, in
Gloucester, carriage paid, which he will
please to accept as a small token of my
regard. My wife, who is very fond of
toasted cheese, presents her compliments
to him, and begs to know if there's any of
that kind, which he was so good as to
send us last Christmas, to be sold in
London.
H. D.
THE EXPEDITION OF HUMPHRY CLINKER
To Dr LEWIS.
DOCTOR,
The pills are good for nothing—I might as
well swallow snowballs to cool my reins—I
have told you over and over how hard I am
to move; and at this time of day, I ought to
know something of my own constitution.
Why will you be so positive? Prithee send
me another prescription—I am as lame
and as much tortured in all my limbs as if I
was broke upon the wheel: indeed, I am
equally distressed in mind and body—As if
I had not plagues enough of my own,
those children of my sister are left me for a
perpetual source of vexation—what
business have people to get children to
plague their neighbours?
A ridiculous incident that happened
yesterday to my niece Liddy, has
disordered me in such a manner, that I
expect to be laid up with another fit of the
gout—perhaps, I may explain myself in my
next. I shall set out tomorrow morning for
the Hot Well at Bristol, where I am afraid I
shall stay longer than I could wish. On the
receipt of this send Williams thither with
my saddle-horse and the demi pique.